Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
don't judge my taste in strippers
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
