I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motรถrhead.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." ๐ ๐๐ท
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize