just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
