Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
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