Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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