somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
You can't motorboat a personality
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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