People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
