so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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