Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
