And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
