Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
