god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
