dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
