it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
