Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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