Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
is wine microwaveable?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
