whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
