yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
