You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
