i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
