I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
