the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
PANTIES FOUND
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