Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
is that a dick in a sweater?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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