I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Randomize
