She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
