I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
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