Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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