And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Randomize
