Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
