I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
