how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
vagina is talking i cant
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
