I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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