Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize