So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize