I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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