smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Welp...herpes.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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