This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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