bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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