Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
