Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
