the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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