what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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