yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Randomize
