Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
