I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Randomize
