Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Let's get the cat blown out
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
