Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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