Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
