Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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