Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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