Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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