Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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