Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
