I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
