just come out here and I will go home with you...
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
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