winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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