im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
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