It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
