i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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