So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
