Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize