porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize