So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize