he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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