Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
