I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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