i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
A+ Viking dick
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
