It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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